I just realized that this morning is the first morning i've put on underwear in a week.
I love summer.
Sorry I totally forgot to text you back. When you texted me I was at work at the pharmacy and it was stupid busy. And then of course I had my 8 hour "shoot me b/c half of Loyola comes in to buy plan B" shift.
well,he told me "i bet you five bucks that i can right cum on the mirror with my cum" i said alright do it, lets just say he's five bucks richer...
i just walked by a road side game of beer pong? it's gonna be a long day
You tired to make Beefaroni in the Mr. Coffee machine.
This chick just checked into her walk of shame on Foursquare... I think I'm in love.
Not till Sunday. I'm going to sleep in my car. And I know. This place is insane. Blood on the stAirs 5 dollar slices of pizza. A girl on our floor had a stroke.
So, I was thinking... Since this restraining order doesn't go into affect until monday, that leaves us 5 days to wreck his world.
It's official, there's a sex tape of me floating around some high school
The car just stinks of weed and we are all sitting here trying to hide it from my mom by rolling down the windows, like it's not coming off my sisters boyfriend
He just sent me a picture of himself naked while cooking pancakes and he made the caption "bitchin' in the kitchen"
Cockoligist
Yes, one may refer to me as that.
I should make business cards.
I was thirsty after the sex and it was a long trek back to res so naturally I stole chocolate milk from his fridge as I left
You was so high that you insisted that you heard someone whistle, then you insisted they was trapped in the wall!
You guys go ahead and have your romantic night. I'm gonna keep my vday tradition alive of angry banging a stranger.
Randomize
