Your tits are I can't wait for
Hey guys. This is Daniel texting on mayas phone. if she called you and told you that i made her have sex with me in my doghouse with my dog present that wasn't true.... so dont spread that.
so he was shitfaced and kept using sticky notes to label everything like "beer spill" and "going to fuck later"
New beer pong partner names "Bus Boys" ... We clear tables
Also you were throwing your phone yelling this is durable as shit
I'm considering failing out of my last semester of college just so I can keep fucking him.
he might be the rich husband I pretend to love for the rest of my life!!!!
Saw a guy throw up on himself while walking, drinking, and singing all at the same time. Hope your night is going better than his :)
Well am going to a strip club before sun down, I dont think anything good can come from that.
No sorry. I may be a happy drunk but my gag reflux is an angry drunk.
I was masterbating to some porn on my phone and my mom decides to text me "are you okay?" I mean i was doing great until you cock blocked me mom..
I think you're literally the first guy to ever pick up a chick from pinterest.
Damn him and his beautiful face and body and penis.
still drunk on my way to class to give my presentation on the negative affects of alcohol on the body. hell yes.
I have to charm this cab driver. Hold on.
Randomize
