I think im in love with that girl with the googlie eyes last night. She was looking in my eyes and at my dick at the same time. we are going out again tonight.
Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
he kept his composure pretty well until he puked on the cop car
i just remebered that we smoked out my hamster yesterday...
i hope hes still alive. i just remember you give him a shit load of cereal and saying "trust me your going to need it"
it's my sixth sense. If there's an orgy within 20 miles of me i'll know about if. Or be a part of it.
I'm bleeding from my lower lip, and I have bruises around my neck. It was just easier to say I got mugged.
When I sent you a text telling you to splash water on your face, you texted me back with 'Iwehre N qyull.'
Well, it's either jungle juice or memory of the night... It's unfortunate I can't have both
She told me she gets scared easily and that I had to protect her. Then I made a condom joke that ended up making her cry... All bad dude
If she's over 40, she won't believe you if you say " I'm only going to put the head in"
Judging by his bulge. This guy is going home with me. Who doesn't want a dick that looks like it used to be a pillar in Rome.
I just walked out of the side door of the bar to come in the front door so no one would know I've been here drinking before our work meeting.
I had sex with him in the back of my car in a duck onesie. I'm worth something dammit.
I impressed him by taking off my panties without removing my pants.
Some nights you do cocaine till 5:00 in the morning, and the next night you teach yourself how to crochet. It’s called balance.
Randomize
