And then he told me he had the vodka, but he was still in line at WIC for the juice.
biggest mistake ever: halloween 2009
We just got home. I got some malt liqour and a lottery ticket so I'm really doing a lot with my life right now
is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
then you put baby powder on the bottom of your feet and walked to your room so "ladies would follow the footprints"
my goal is to not remember how i make a living by 9pm saturday night
literally hosing herself off in my back yard with the hose. i offered her the shower but she refused. that drunk.
Do you think he stole that soccer trophy that he gave you for the "best sweater award" from his five year old son?
Just did a slip and slide down a five story staircase in my dorm. Being an engineer is fucking awesome
Not my type. One of those types that loves that they're educated, could drink their red wine and have an intellectual conversation and have a wonderful time
An adult?
My mother just made an innapropriate gesture with a cucumber while grocery shopping at whole foods... Then she said "bitches love cucumbers" and all this time i thought i was adopted
Apparently she broke up w/ her bf like 3 weeks ago. She actually called me to be her bday hookup cause she's single now. Patience- the virtue that occasionally pays off.
You could see the bone sticking out of his shin and he insisted he was "just gunna walk it off"
Pretty sure keeping my vibrator in the same drawer with the weed makes it work better. I fall asleep almost immedi
I didn't want dick. I wanted spaghetti.
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