He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
he used the word "rubber" i just couldn't do it after that.
his dick makes me think maybe a monogamous relationship forever is possible.
Me+graduation party+hammered drunk+polish horseshoes in the dark= black eye, crying, pissed, passed out in my dress... How was your weekend?
I just spent 30 minutes cleaning out my coleman grill. Did you really have to have grilled yogurt?
This weekend is gunna be a fucking shitshow. I don't even wanna know how many dicks will end up inside of me
There's an official council for his ex boyfriends. They told me they 'look forward to the day I join them'.
I thought the cops would know I was on shrooms because I was 10ft tall.
Its not college unless your study breaks were to go throw up from blacking out the night before
I'm the brains and you're the boobs of this operation.
WHO THE FUCK TAGS THEMSELVES AT COUNTY JAIL?!?!
Yeah man i woke up and only had a Jimmy John's wrapper covering myself..
Food poisoning on first date... Still rode the mechanical bull like a champ
Anyone would get lost in that field after that much vodka. Trust me... I kind of feel like superman considering I even made it home. Most people would've been face down in a random oilfield. Not this guy.
Told a guy at the bar I was hurricane evacuees with no place to stay. Just woke up at his place. God bless Florence
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