I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes
I should have bought two bottles, she left before I could feel her tits...
It would be worth it to see how drunk he is right now.
He cartwheeled into the side of the neighbor's garage.
Ok, i'm coming over
i just sent my parents are gone come over I have condoms to my mom because Derek changed my numbers while I was passed out
and then you went into taco bell without pants...and surprisingly you weren't the only one there without pants
just realized we made a drinking game to how many times they say "hakuna matata" in the lion king last night... hello sophomore year.
This is breast cancer awareness month... The least we can do is give a stripper some singles.
You guys can't keep having sex with them and cleaning their house! They're never going to take you seriously!
Is putting "Tonight I'm Fucking You" on my date playlist too forward?
It's called "lets see how many European capitals we can do the walk of shame through in one year"
I wore a bird inflatable and still got laid. So there's that.
We just don't discuss our relationships. It's pretty much like we're single no matter what to each other. And I'm okay with that. ¯\\(ツ)/¯
He is a sex God. It lasted more than an hour, and I don't remember how many times I came. I lost count at 57.
there is another microwave in the elevator.
I was a psycho gf all the time...I'm sorry
I was drunk 90% of the time...tit for tat
Randomize
