Just saw a policeman use his lights to go through a red light only to turn them off and go to Sonic...
He asked me how my body knew that a month was up when it was time for my period.
guess what. just found out I had mono. no wonder alcohol didn't taste good on nye
I'm sorry that spending new years with you was fucking my boyfriend in your bathroom multiple times
U owe me five dollars for that paper towel you bet i wouldnt eat last night
The couch is in the bathroom. I don't understand how that is even possible. I couldnt even fit that shelf thingy through the door. Come help. I am about to pee my pants.
He took a picture with a naked dude. I think he just walked out of that deep ginger closet.
I have nothing to say for myself. When 2chainz comes on at the bar all bets are off.
He will be forever remembered as "birthday failure" ...Got him to pierce his tongue in my bathroom, but not sleep with me......
Time to eat Mexican food til I hate myself.
That's completely alright, I do it a lot.
The cleaning lady has moved my vibrator twice now so I would say I'm pretty ready to move out.
Yeah. I found my shirt from last night while walking back to the bar to get my purse/phone this morning. I'm never going to even ask what actually happened. Be glad you moved 7 states away.
I woke up naked with a duck on my head. I think something went horribly wrong.
It was horribly awesome. Its like looking at the sun, you know its bad for you but I just couldn't stop looking.
Finally hooked up with Ryan. Now I know why they call him “Beast Mode”. So. Many. Orgasms.
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