ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
You are the only one who would stop a bum, tell him to open up, then pour straight vodka in his mouth. You made his year.
This weekend was suppose to be a 'smoke weed and stare at things' weekend. Not a 'spend all my rent money partying with Europeans till 8 am' weekend
Yeah but those French chicks did get naked
I know you hold the fastest time for "zoo downhill wheelchair racing" but I don't see what that has to do with this.
Going to an AA meeting just so I can fuck him...That's dedication
Dude I wanna go on a booze cruise
Dude our life is a booze cruise
But without boats...
I'm sitting with my parents watching football and moaned when I saw his shirtless picture. They looked at me weird so I had to turn the moan into a laugh. A sad, really horny laugh.
One guy got his nose broke and was playing with it. Then another guy was playing beer pong off his horse.
He just said his penis sings like Mariah Carey...Im going with drunken.
Just got offered a dog by two Meth head's one of which wasn't wearing shoes and continually saying "fuck"
I am disappointed by everyone's lack of ability to dance on a stripper pole:(
I have never encountered a chode in the wild
I'm at the back whiskey bar with a 7 and 7 in a winnie the pooh costume. Come find me.
Just told my dad about my heroic mailbox showdown. He looked at me strange. I think he thinks I'm high.
You are high.
He was laying on a lawn chair, fell off onto his stomach and asked, "where'd the stars go?" That high.
Randomize
