I got called a slut by a bunch of girls that work at Hooters..wtf is that shit? explain that to me
He spanked me with a plate. I'm not sure where this is going...
i swear to god. if they dont have practically DTF written on their foreheads, or a glowstick in their hands, strictly no entry.
can you please explain how one drink turns into 5 street signs with their poles lying around my room
If you ever bitch out on 72oz margarita night again, this friendship is over
i'm in that phase where i'll swallow anything except food
Casually brushing the Bacardi out of my hair. It's a good time to ponder regretting everything that happened last night.
I think I ruined his life by managing to get his initiation nickname for his frat to be "Whiskey Dick" but I still wish herpes on him and his fugly new girlfriend.
Pierced my own nipple last night, and yes everyone did go absolutely nuts
He barged in the room with no shirt on, all fucking ripped with a half keg under one arm. Sara now calls him Bronan the Beerbarian
You're the only person I know who can be puking into a trash can at 8 in the morning in Manhattan and get a date out of it....
He's still short.... And probably a douchebag. But if we ever run into him downtown I fully encourage you to take him home and have "I hate you douchebag" sex and lick every inch of that disgustingly toned chest.
My kid just put flowers in my hair to make me pretty, then showed my boobs to an entire playground. He's either the best wingman or the worst.
Last thing I remember at your house last night is your dad leaning on the beer pong table and saying "you guys can fucking party"
I told him I might be pregnant and he said he'd buy me a test and a twix bar. I'm marrying him. Tomorrow.
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