Just got my rental car in Iowa...gas is under 2 dollars in des moines...this is not a real state
Passed out watching pirates of caribbean with vodka in hand. Woke up to jenna jameson, with vodka gone.
He belongs with you like a mcdonalds playground belongs in Chernobyl
I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
i was about to rearrange the room but realized that this is the only efficient setup where we can have sex while the other one's asleep without them accidentally seeing.
Okay Im going to go have some sex apparently. I hope this chick is prepared the zero effort Im going to put into it.
Trying to figure out when's a good time to take acid and not tell anyone and see how long it takes people to notice
COME GET ME FR THE HOSPIGAL'!!!!!
look in the field by the highway and see if there is a high heel there. Or some Taco Bell bags.
eating on the run again ?
I can't be here...my therapist just watched me take tequila shots
I think the moment I knew you were going to black out was when I told you how many shots you had already and you were shocked and then poured another one
I knew this night was headed for bad when I was drinking cherry bombs out of a sippy cup in the shower
god it feels good to gold a bottle of opiates again.
I think that typo was actually more appropriate than what you intended.
Why were you doing tequila shots out of Boston Pizza dip containers?
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
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