census says that i am hotter than the girl you just left with...sad for you
were with a gay guy with a minnesota accent. think about how funny that sounds.
The weird kid in front of me is reading an article titled "why don't i have a girlfriend?" the article then continues to talk about the mathematical equation for obtaining a girlfriend. exhibit a of why he is single
You threw up with your ski mask on still.
Im going to make a sandwich and see if my books came from amazon. I cant believe two years ago i was dating eight guys and teaching russian exchange students how to do shots.
I woke up naked except for someone else's socks. Im so proud
The number of times I have seen your cock and the number of times I have wanted to see your cock are different!
Had a grope session with a girl who looked like my Mom and had the same name as her as well. I think therapy is in order.
Wouldn't life be so much easier if you could just walk up to attractive men and say, "Let me bear your children" and it wouldn't be creepy?
Or possibly end in a restraining order?
I just plagiarized Dr. Curtis Connor's ideology from Spider-man in an essay on genetically engineered embryos. College: academic integrity at its finest.
stop fucking thinking about him when there is A MILLION OTHER PENISES TO RIDE IN THE WORLD
We celebrated our relationship by shotgunning beers on his lawn in our underwear. I may have to marry this man...
It was a great idea to buy that cocaine while dressed as an elf. It snowed all night for me.
First you stole a hockey stick out of the nieghbors yard and claimed you were moses leading his children home. Then you led us around the same block twice before I called the cab
Damn that sucks I haven't needed pants the whole time i've been here
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