she was bad bro. like...id rather put my dick in a blender. twice.
remind me to tell you about the ham sandwich empire im building
I think drunk me is telling hungover me something... I just have to crack the code.
The only person who has seen my penis more than that girl, is that girl's sister.
she said shes getting her period tomorrow so she wants to have sex now. i didnt object. it would have been heartless.
ofcourse you didnt.
I've gone to the bathroom 3 times. And forgot to pee. 3 times. Let's say we call it a night, I need to be found. I see a fish tank by the bar and some stairs.
I'm really glad that we can be casual hook up buddies. This is a true friendship. Now, please convince your roommate to do the same. Thanks.
I just pictured my inhibition personified as little pink piggies with wings flying off into the great wide nowhere hahaha
I feel like I should go door-to-door apologizing to America.
we will now reference it as "the infamous double dick night"
I think I fucked someone on the flight home last night.
Had sex on the beach last night with a drug dealer. win-win-win situation
Why does my nose taste spicy?
How do you know what your nose tastes like?
She tied me to her bed using her honor chords. Thank god for graduation!
if you want the landscaping job, the uniform is a speedo. no exceptions.
Randomize
