just fell over trying to sit on the toliet like a robot.
this is ridiculous... i look like a white version of MC Hammer...
What happened?....
He lifted up the blanket, and whispered "Don't do it" to his sperm....
Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
It's been so long that I've occasionally forgotten I own a vagina
also Jesus you really need to change your diet. I just washed your baby gravy out of my hair and it's so acidic my hair is damaged. You have killer sperm
If you've never been pounded by an Eastern European body builder, I would highly recommend it.
Like he and the nurses kept being so persistent with it and I just wanted to run out of there in my backless gown and yell FUCK OFF BITCHES IM OUT
I'm beginning to think that women just have dogs at home as an excuse to leave ASAP after hooking up, without sounding like a typical guy.
I showed my cat the amount of coke I had. She looked concerned.
When I woke up next to him on the living room floor, my glasses were broken and it felt like someone rubbed a cactus all over my vag
Naked and Afraid: Hangover edition
We woke up today with 24 donuts, a tie, two jugs of vodka that we traded an extra sandwich for, and a british boy
I picked up a towel, and butt beads fell out of it.
Oh yeah... Surprise!
My manager is trying to help me find a good career path, and I'm trying to find a professional way to tell him I just wanna smoke and fuck.
Randomize
