Masterbating to gospel music is like god cheering on your orgasm
How long is the appropriate time period between a pregnancy scare and breaking up with my girlfriend?
I love how all these freshman girls think that they can wear what they wore last summer... freshman 15 at its skankiest
Does the whole "it was New Years" excuse apply this year?
you know you made out with my sister while holding Ur girlfriends hand while she was puking in the toilet right
I started sorting laundry at 6 am. He finally got the hint and left
Getting business cards printed for tonight. Would you rather be: 1. Vice President of Argentina 2. Celebrity Dental Assistant or 3. Dial-Up Internet Technician
3. Dial-Up Internet Technician.
as of this morning I have officially vommed on the highways of 6 different countries. It's a proud moment.
I took 20 bucks from you because when I woke up I saw more of you than I ever wanted to see bro.
Totally acceptable.
Is it possible to rally from a drunken seizure?
It's like you know you got fucjed up when you wake up and check fir your own pulse
my mom snuck into my room, washed her clothes and made her breakfast. what the fuck she's a better boyfriend than I am
I love the barter system - he got laid and I got him to bring me some ibuprofen. A win-win really.
Can my mom come with to the bar? Prince just died and I feel like I need to take her out to cheer her up.
we promised ourselves we wouldn't get too drunk, and what happens? I wake up the next morning with half a mcdouble in one pocket and some barbie clothes in the other.
Randomize