Help i just walked in on mom blowing dad
I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
do you think having her use a clorox disinfecting wipe on her vagina will keep me from getting her herpes if I don't have a condom?
I'll be heading downtown with donuts and a lawn chair at 9am to go Halloween Walk o' Shame spotting.
Dude, she gave me a handski that literally felt like she was starting a lawn mower...
Come part with me. By you sleep! No fun. Idek feelings Sorry for your life.
I had to wash my hair with conditioner because my sister got hammered and gave the dog a 3am sprinkler bath with my shampoo.
Seriously. Texted me 4 times and that didn't wake me up so he nicely called and left a voicemail saying he WOULD call me 8 times. So when he called back I answered.
I'm drunk and I have your birth certificate
do you think your dog feels awkward being in the background of your nudes?
Now all I have unanswered questions and a fucked up finger
ugh i want to get waxed but I’m afraid. my vagina has had enough trauma this week, i don’t know if I can put her thru any more.
I feel like him using the excuse "I'm not a fan of lying" to stop me from sleeping around is hypocritical since he's cheating on his wife with me.
Convinced if I was being murdered in my house no one would come and save me. If no one heard my 10000000 orgasms last night, there is no hope.
Randomize
