drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
I woke up covered in my own vomit with a pocket full of napkins. I guess I knew I would need them, but was not coherent enough to use them before passing out.
last night was the icing on my 3 week vodka binge cake
He's a good guy, we stopped by his old church.
And you didn't burst into flames?
A true measure of a good friend is how long she responds to her friends drunken illogical texts. Youre a champ.
I was relieved after I found the unopened condom in my pocket. Then I found the open one in the other pocket..
What can I say, he stumbled upon the key to my heart: orgasms and mac 'n cheese.
whiskey dick. though we did manage to break my closet door and flood the bathroom.
I can't even go pee because I'm making sure he doesn't run off somewhere naked.
We were thinking he might be gay. Like how the fuck do you not even make out with a girl that made you a grilled cheese
Someone asked me why we were having sex on the porch last night. All I remember is him saying he wanted the recruits to see. This has got to stop.
You told him about your cats? I told his friend to put his dick in my mouth, and you talked about cats!?
i tried to break up pigeon sex because one looked too young to consent. fireball feminism ftw
I just need you to appreciate that this is the first time I've ever been cut off and it's at an airport bar in Philly before 1 o'clock in the afternoon.
Randomize