you better not pull some "waking up at 2 in the afternoon" shit, we have weed to smoke.
I feel like I've been drunk all of June. And I am in NO WAY ashamed about it.
I'm starting to second guess shaving my vagina over the kitchen sink. The lighting is so much better though.
diet's not working. come over. i need someone to fuck the hungry out of me.
Well at least the house will be decorated when u get evicted.
Is it wrong I want to seduce my ex to prove the point to his current gf he's an ass?
Can I send you a picture of my penis? I feel like it looks really good right now and I need someone to share it with
Really stoned me is having a very serious, intent conversation with my mom about egg rolls and koolaid flavors.
Look at the picture I MADE him take with me...like why??? He's holding my foot?
Mom and I are both drunk and walking around the Strip. It's like the hangover but with a lot more bathroom breaks.
In hindsight following that black guy in the ghostbusters costume was a terrible decision on everyone's part
She's takin more dicks this month than I have in my life by the sounds of it
I gave you chlamydia, you gave me a concussion. Now we're even.
I may not have my dignity, pride or sanity but I have my pants.
I didn't have any lime for my chaser.. so after my shot I ate a handful of lime flavored chips. Didn't work so great.
Randomize