Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
So am i just your go-to 'i found a tick on my penis' number?
woke up this morning to find the entire staircase covered in marinara sauce, with my roommate practically sobbing and scrubbing the wall with carpet cleaner.
first day of class and my professor asked me if i was going to come to class drunk all semester.
he busted in while i was showering looked at me and said "youve lost weight bro, no homo" and started puking into the sink
I have a theory he's part Neanderthal
Had a dream that you were held at gun point. But I killed the guy. Then we embraced in the biggest hug while everyone around us clapped... Kinda how I imagine our wedding...
I can't put those talents on a resume
That was the first time I ever heard of a female getting road head while driving... thanks for the memory and making me happy ending..
Listening to sad Lana Del Rey songs together is an integral part of the lesbian bonding process
I got off F O U R times, just because he wanted to hear me moan. He is my hero.
We could just stay sober.
No! We tried that once.
It sucked.
just spent the last 20 minutes cleaning out the soap dispenser. fuck. me. adderall.
Mandatory face masks - finally, a solution for lip augmentation failures and bad breath.
Have you actually looked at the corn flakes box? I don't think the rooster has a soul.
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