Great date with Damon, but I'm not sure if telling him I like lesbian porn is a good second date discussion.
Who tried to make mustard cubes with the ice cube tray?
It was like fucking a house. Down the chimney. That deep and empty.
Dude you need to stop whoring out my boobs. They are for emergencies only.
Dude, somewhere around here makes 4loko slushies. I just decided coming home isn't so bad.
the remote is under the fat chick passed out on the couch. Good luck .. and may god have mercy on your soul.
Make sure you have everything youll need until sunday. aka a green shirt and condoms.
How do you tell someone who's buying a pregnancy test to have a nice day .... Like how
This hurricane better not stop me from sitting on the stoop thurs & enjoying all the slutty costume walkofshamers
Running my fingers through my hair is like that scene from Patch Adams where the girl goes swimming in a pool of spaghetti. I love molly.
I'm not gonna lie. I'm a little scared.
Good. The Jell-O shots look great.
I can see their wedding vows now: 'Til basicness do us part
Why do I have this feeling like this is heading in a slightly threesome-y direction
Come by so you can take a pregnancy test with me. It's like my monthly ritual!
You know the story of the boner party, right? They got stuck in the mountains and ate each other?
It was the Donner party... boner party was the porn version...
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