We're hooking up, I have a toothbrush at her place, and yet on leaving her apartment a minute ago we said goodbye with a hi five. WTF?
You're upset about this?
he asked me out through an event invitation on facebook, the title read Romantic Dinner For 2
You told him how lucky he was to be an elephant and kept trying to grab his "trunk"
What ever happened to the whole 'innocent until proven guilty' thing. Like 'not pregnant until proven pregnant'. That's how it should be...
Is it uncouth to have a themed intervention? I know how much you like Star Wars.
Lights are FLASHING. This just got REAL. CAPTALIZATION.
We passed my parents while I was giving him road head...that awkward
I immediately retract my statement involving hylecopters being allowed to blow up sharks out of the water.... The idea if it is super incredible but ultimately it would be cruel and unessesary
when we woke up this morning she was missing two teeth. the front two.
i just woke up to her giving me a toothy BJ so I had to break into your bedroom and steal about 4 condoms. Sorry for waking you. :(
He's nice to look at and knows the difference between your and you're. I win.
the night literally screamed "cock and ball torture"
i am no longer ashamed when i walk into the dining hall for sunday brunch and i'm greeted with applause for suriving my weekend
You chased a rabbit then knocked on a police car and asked the cop "if he saw where that little bastard went."
I might have to quit marching band. It's affecting my drinking schedule
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