i think my tv is drunk
please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
do you think they make care bear costumes for cats?
Next time i try to unbutton my R.A's shirt with my teeth, please stop me
No promises.
I feel like Tiger Woods should send Jesse James a gift basket or something...
We had to coat check the pizza.
Hey everyone. This evenings celebration will commence with a cocktail hour at genghis at 830 to be followed with an upscale dining experience at taco bell at 10. All are welcome. This is not a joke. Thank you
You're a disgrace to the female race and the love triangle and halloween.
Yeah. Rock bottom was him passing out and saying "are you putting a condom on me?" and me covering his mouth and saying shhhhh
The hot guy sitting next to me in the lib is reading a book called "Impersonal sex in public places." How wrong would it be to give him my number when I bounce?
nothing can ever be as bad as the night i blacked out, updated my fb status to i need a pity fuck and then passed out for 13 hours.
exactly. I want him to have to live with the fact that he fucked me. I want him to look me in the eye and say "you were a drunken mistake".
I'm really stoned in my underwear. I probably won't make it to the bar.
I want him for more than banging and buying me potato salad. Is this what love feels like?
Know what's awkward? Having a couple of moving guys watch while you detach the bondage cuffs from your bedframe, that's what.
Randomize
