You put a thong on my pumpkin didn't you.
I think I left a blow job at your house. Can I come down and get it?
I gave it to your brother to give to you.
I didn't think I could chip a tooth while giving a blowjob until I met him.
well i did drunkenly flip his snowmobile going 90, so i can kind of see why hes mad
I got a Luke Skywalker costume so I can go do battle with the homeless guy who plays the fiddle dressed as Darth Vader downtown.
I dont think she was a real nurse but she was good at it. wish I rememebrd her name
i figured out i could get from the downstairs bar to the upstairs bar AND grab pizza by going through the kitchen. it was the greatest discovery of my life besides the flabongo.
Apparently he took me home and I pulled up my senior pictures on fbook and made him guess what I was thinking during each different pose.
He also turned out to be underage (the fucking liar) so we had to get drunk on cooking sherry
Hamster emergency. Can u come in here
Reasons why I'm always right: I am older, I am wiser, I have a larger penis
Every time I try to do something productive I end up searching ghost porn.
You ruined the universe
Step one: We finally agreed on an au pair that we both wanna fuck.
I dunno about you, but I consider getting eaten out on the porch of a houseboat in -30c in a bridesmaids dress a northern right of passage
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