She had her laptop open and there was microsoft word opend and all was written was "no italianoo"
I don't think anyone could emotionally handle a numb vagina.
You "were" hungover, which is past tense. So that gives you no excuse not to go out tonight.
Picture this: me driving down 183 throwing up into a towel. I just hit rock bottom.
at which point he tried to give himself a prince albert piercing with the stapler on his desk.
No, I am not setting up my roomba to clean up puke.
I'm lost. Please come find me. I'm inside the I-270 circle somewhere. I can hear laughing.
...Saturday night. Get your dick ready. We are going to go nuts. I want to have sex fucking everywhere.
The Supreme Court upheld health insurance. If that's not an excuse to get hospital drunk, I don't know what is.
I just did a jell-o shot with my grandmother. I can die now..
At least he finally released me from his spooning oven of death...
Damn, well, it could always be worse
For sure, I could be a prison bitch right now. Thursdays aren't half bad
How is it??
I'm drinking Gatorade out of a champagne flute.
Oh damn it. Let me get a beer. I can't take anymore bad news. Hold on.
Honestly who turns down a free blowjob?
Randomize
