first missing my period. then crying at the clinic... but why?
we had sex 3 months ago. you missed your period 2 weeks ago. but nice try.
UPDATE: In a passionate fit of self love, I brought myself to orgasm under the moon on my 7th floor balcony, ejaculating between the rungs towards the ground.
Unfortunately, I did not realize that most of it would end up on the balcony below mine.
At least you don't cum in color.
and all i could think about was how mcdonalds would not be open anymore after we were done having sex
I found a map from his room to his bathroom this morning in my purse. Apparently I was too fucked up to get there without one.
Somewhere at this very moment, a group of drunk white girls are singing dont stop believing.
I wish I still had pics from the prostitute I paid/dated
He just keeps repeating "this isn't my bagel".. i'm worried for his safety
This amicable friendliness is dull. We either need to start fighting or fucking around. I'll even let you pick.
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
She put a shot in my mouth and then hit me with a pillow..
Guess who has two thumbs and broke her boyfriends dick?
I don't need inspirational quotes. If I'm going to be motivated, it will be by anger and spite.
I love you. Go after that dick
Just spilled beer all over my bed. Should cut myself off, but instead I just took my shirt off and used it as a towel.
dont know what thebfuxk is in rhat shit, but dont lemme have antmore
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