WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
I wish I could rss feed the hooker ads on craigslist because it looks suspicious that I check craigslist every hour.
How was your sisters wedding?
Oh, I didn't go. I slept through my alarm. I finally woke up and was like...I don't think so.
sisterhood ftl.
The guy i fucked last week got done first on the test in my 900 person class. If im pregnant at least it will be smart.
one of them held the wheel while the other one changed her pants. while driving. on the thruway. what
six ambien and a bong later...he was calling me blueberry princess who need rescuing from the evil oven, and he was sir Eatsalot.
Going to an AA meeting just so I can fuck him...That's dedication
I only call her for sex and medical advice. She admitted she feels like a worried parent when her phone rings at 5 a.m.
I keep getting the feeling him and his friends are hilarious and we should drink whiskey together forever
You full on peed your pants then resurrected yourself like Jesus Christ...
It's scary that my vibrator is a dangerous weapon. I want a new one.
So I got cockblocked by our relationship status last night
nyquil+orgasm=very intense and oddly interesting
I would like to make it known to all of you that my penis is official retired, but it thanks you for the countless years of service you provided
Sitting on couch, workout sex makes me more sore than regular workout
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