He told me he was ok to drive home. Then I found him face-planted in the parking lot.
I just gave my patient permission to swallow while pregnant. She was so embarrassed to ask...but her bf was really happy with the answer.
Please, do not let 'babydaddy' catch on as your petname for me.
I've got 15 minutes to eat dinner and drink a 40. Four years of college has all been training for this moment.
I think god is proud of me so he is rewarding me in discounted wine
Need help. Super baked. Stuck on couch. Dying of thirst. Bring paint thinner or something to pry me off. Only thumbs and neck work.
He sprained his penis one time
He was "naked wrestling" and fell off the couch and landed on his erect penis
next time we make out at a concert please try to refrain from screaming out our hotel room number.. the amount of guys that knocked on our door after you passed out was ridiculous
Robert just walked in drunk, grabbed my Jameson from me, told me to let him do his thing, and spilled it all over the coffee table. Then he told me to grab a funnel because he was going home.
I texted him a series of texts in which the first letters of each text spelled out "WE SHOULD HAVE SEX". If that's not dedication to the dick, I don't know what is
The other day, he sent me a snapchat of his dick in the forest. He captioned it "nature nudes."
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
i gave head in a cab last night. get on my level.
Anytime you wish.we are doing double shots in the kitchen,and I drank a beer in the shower,so...the sooner you get here,the sooner you can get on our level.
I guess we coulda said a little less mature audience and a little more e for everyone.
Randomize
