Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
I come up with the best drinking games while babysitting
I don't have any food so I made a martini so I could eat the olives. Don't tell me I can't think outside the box.
Hey do you have anything at your house 30 ft. tall to throw eggs off of?
Not exactly sure why you felt the need to get the halloween decorations out. But waking up to 7 carved pumpkins really scares the shit out of you.
the laptop wouldn't balance on his lap. that's how well endowed he is.
Your lack of great college experience of margaritas and foam parties scares me
Learned a valuable life lesson last night. It's titled "Tequila: Still A Bad Idea".
Ok I have to ask, whose idea was it to used crushed up norcos as margarita salt? And what did they say to convince everybody else to think it was a good idea?
Fingerblasting some girl on the deck tryna get her to fuck on a lifeboat
So my roommate just came out of the shower with a dude...guess that answers all questions as to whether or not he's gay
I'm not sure how long my penis is exactly, but I will tell you it resembles a bendy straw
I took an uber home at 6am. Went to Santanas, apparently they don't take american express. So the uber driver bought my burrito. Success!
I feel like you should store your weed in something that suits your personality. For example mines in a hollowed out disney princess book.
Alcohol and I aren't friends right now.
Randomize
