So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
six shots in, he is hammered and doing stretches before each shot
One of the cleaning ladies on my floor just screamed from the bathroom
he said the way to his heart was through his stomach, i told him if he wanted to eat my food he had to eat my kitty
smooth operator
koolaid chicken. i marinated it for 2 hours and roasted it on a rock in a fire. it was bright blue and raw. but that shit was tasty
I'm allowed to be upset. I've never had that many fingers in my ass
i licked icing off his dick. in front of his sister.
Sign out of Gchat. Right now my gchat list is entirely girls I've slept with.. and you. You are fucking up my gchat chi.
I'm the saddest girl in a tutu right now.
So I just sent my ex a video snap chat of me getting head from some Venezuelan hottie with the caption I still love you. Think she'll take me back?
That all sounds beautiful. All I have to offer is my shining personality, extensive amounts of space knowledge, and I hear I am pretty not sucky at sucking dick
That guy was cool until he tried fighting that dude in the bow tie. I need better wingmen.
We just banged and he's microwaving shrimp noodles and I'm eating tostitos alone in the dark this is why our relationship works
I woke up with my winter coat on, next to a polaroid of me, her and a swan...so no I don't remember our conversation.
So, is Canada considered an excessive distance to go for a booty call? Asking for a friend...
Randomize
