im pretty sure i just saw someone trying to catch a fish with his penis
no, i'm proud of you. this is the happiest you've been since you discovered that bowls can be used as cups if you don't feel like washing dishes.
He gave me an orgasm with his left hand...and he's right handed. Of course he's a keeper.
she reminds me of the kind of girl who'd fuck in church if you asked. I can dig it.
Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
We should tie ourselves together anytime there is any type of alcohol involved. It's the safest way. I either end up with freshmen or weird ex bfs. You end up with a large cowboy. This is not good for us
she drove 3 hrs one way just to sleep with me. I felt bad complaining about paying for condoms.
I was able to hide the fact that I had just shit in my pants, and then wupped her ass at FIFA
At my eighteen year old cousin's wedding. Getting hit on by a 9 year old. No one knows who he came with. I'm pretty sure he just showed up from the field behind the church. Help.
I bet his dick wears a tuxedo.
So I saw her today...and it was weird...she is just like not pregnant anymore.
Dude...how high are you? of course she isnt pregnant anymore...thats what happens when you give birth
I want a bottle of whiskey to be dropped at my doorstep like a stork drops babies when they are delivered to their parents.
God what have you done to be that much in need of alcohol.
Me WANTS my preciousssssssssss
Current state of being: shivering like a new born kitten on the bathroom floor
My life has hit a new low, I just licked MDMA of someone's bed.
you know your booty call is really trying when he offers to pay the toll for the bridge you have to cross to get to his house
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