well when i got there she was attempting to stick the cat in her mouth.. so maybe you should go check on her
So, I picked up my 7 ft tall lamp post and used it to close my door. I feel quite accomplished.
had to ask my 13 year old sister if she knew any dealers... she did. it's good to be home.
Eventually evolution will just give us a better liver anyway, so our great great grandkids should THANK us for our binge drinking.
It was honestly like finding a clitoris in a haystack.
Just ran into her dad at the strip club. He bought me a dance. I think i found a winner.
Drunk at work, covered in Cheetos is no way to go through life.
I found Cheetos.
I snapchatted his face mid sex. Needless to say, I don't think I'll ever see him again.
who the fuck is meatball and why is he telling you to nap on the bar
I don't particularly remember setting a firecracker off in my hand. No more tequila.
I left at 4:30 in the morning and I told him it was because I had to take my contacts out
At least you didn't lose your virginity to chumbawumba
Girl. There is no more toilet paper. You should have seen the twerking I just did to shake the pee off.
Its the damn oven. I think it wants to eat me.
So if i am talking to a guy and he sends me a pic and he is wearing Spiderman button down dress shirt.... Is it ok if i dont want to talk to him anymore?
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