you definitely held a convo with a hobo
we have a secret handshake
Thank you for holding my vodka while the police let me ride their horse.
either she said she was feeling frisky or eating friskies..i was too drunk to understand.
despite contrary belief, getting peanut butter off your balls is not as easy as it sounds
a cabby told me that vodka is the coors light of liquor, and then gave me his number
And she was like "I wanted you all for myself, to love you, and treat you like gold."... See this is why I shouldn't fuck Italian chicks...
The fairy wings and cowboy hats were not the issue. The bag of cocaine that I held in the air as we drove in the parade might have been.
French people screaming and throwing stuff out the window. We told the manager and he's pissed and going up there. This is gonna be like cops. Maybe better than cops.
and he's drinking a bud lime in his profile pic meaning i can out drink him, meaning i would clearly be the alpha in our relationship
Fuck you asshole. You cost me cheerleader pussy.
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
I lost a bet last night, now I have to name the baby Fetty Wap, regardless of gender. Riley is going to kill me.
honestly i've never been more attracted to you than when you threw up on my floor
Woke up with a pineapple again... where do i keep on getting these ??
I WANT GRASS AND TREES NOT SOMEONE SWINGING A SWORD AROUND
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