i wish we had vans that drove around at night but insteand of ice cream and jolly tunes its taco bell and the macarena
Since when does sleeping with your RA not result in free meal swipes? I feel so tricked...
he told me he's been faithful to his girlfriend and is gonna try to stay that way. challenge accepted.
4pm on a Sunday....roomate fucking like a wildabeast while I have a organic chemistry study group in my kitchen.
threw up in the library. i should be embarrassed, but i'm willing to bet that i'm one of the first so i'm kinda proud.
There were gay boys and a jukebox. It was like god wanted me to.
he calls himself the gay cupid because he matches two guys looking to hookup on craigstlist with each other. get me out of here. please.
You're doing a terrible job of letting me hook up with girls vicariously through you.
So because I got upset you didn't answer I threw my phone in the garbage disposal last night
I'm going to sing sad and lonely Barbra Streisand songs at the top of my lungs if you don't get here soon
When you are 21 it's acceptable to run out of the tavern and puke all over the bike rack... when you are 35 it's called alcoholism.
...is this motivational speaking, or sexting? It's getting hard to tell.
Do you think you can chase a shot with chicken soup?
It was a good dick. I give credit where credit is due. A good dick deserves praise.
Can you please come in my room and pour water in my mouth? Too hungover to move. btw who is this guy in my bed? Can't see his face. Cute?
Randomize
