Goddamnit I hate your level headedness
Sex don't cost a thang now that you can buy trojans with meal points.
From the prices on this menu it looks like I have no choice. I have to blow him.
yeah except there is a correlation between drinking moonshine and going blind, which kind of concerns me
We had sex in the bathroom. Then he told me I could watch him pee.
I think my uterus is still laying in your bed somewhere under the covers.
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
I want "hickeys on my ass" sex
We really gotta change brands again because 2-ply is making us feel like the celebrities we aren't.
If there was a card that said "I'm sorry for throwing up on your bathroom counter" I would send it to you.
I don't know if dry shampoo will fix the decisions we made last night.
How's my sex life is me mastubating next to her dog. that's how it's going.
and you fell through a lawn chair
I found a 9 minute video on my phone of you singing into an eggplant.
I used the phrase "love child of quasimodo and cyclops " in a sentence today.
Randomize
