you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
i woke up next to the toilet with a chipped tooth, somebody elses shirt on, and a random guys id in my pocket
Either he was jacking off or having a seizure next to me in bed. Either way, I was too lazy to help.
Luckily my prof thought I was puking from nerves and gave me motivational mini speeches the entire final.
I was about to smoke a bunch of weed and lay naked while I cried all day
nothing like walking in the house at 3 am in my panties and a sheer shirt carrying a life sized cardboard dale earnhardt jr
Tell him "come over but don't bring a flaccid dick"
Wear something tight
Listen I just pulled white girl hair out of my underwear. This has got to stop. I was wearing pants all night.
Come home, I'm drunk on the porch and pretending to smoke breadsticks like cigarettes. Enticing, right?
It's like those toothpaste commercials where 4 out of 5 dentists would recommend your vagina
& he told me that I give the best head ever.. like can I get that on a medal?
Well, I can't remember Thursday and my left ass cheek hurts like hell, I'm guessing Mike's bachelor party was a success.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
You guys do the cocaine and I'll do the dishes.
You know its awkward when your mom walks in on you and your boyfriend yelling surprise....I was scared into an orgasm
Randomize
