Did you hallucinate the same white buffalo that I did last night.
No, but I did see you shaking hands with a homeless man.
Good news! Whoever used this stall at Target earlier...not pregnant!
:( I miss blowjobs.
This is probably the strangest conversational segue we've ever had.
I just tried to pee in a pad to see if it was like a diaper. it's not.
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
Just gave my manager part of my viccodin stash-my job is basically secured forever.
Dude just read our convo. Apparently I was talking to you while I was naked. She wasn't happy about it.
After he called me a "spirited little girl" I realized that I need to stop sleeping with guys more than ten years older than me.
There's a stoned dwarf chilling in the basement here. Maybe there are redeemable qualities about this place.
I was the girl at the bar last night passing out free condoms and making sure everyone knew how to use them to keep the population down
My life is sponsored by tidy cat kitty litter, Bacardi rum, and plan b.
I found out he put two potatoes in a jar because he wants to make his own vodka.
250 people in this lecture & my prof asks who already drank green beer this morning& is drunk right now. I WAS THE ONLY ONE TO RAISE MY HAND
My new favorite word is dickbag. I think its relevant here. And I say that with all the love in the world.
I just got fed by 3 guys. I love my job.
Randomize
