I really wish i had a penis so i could dick slap that bitch right now
I was wrong being drunk doesn't make accounting more interesting
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
My professor just gave everyone in the class extra credit... except for the kid wearing the Cubs hat
She's pathetic and vulnerable..and short. Thats his type.
What if our hands were octopus tentacles?
You're an idiot.
Why did you send me 12 pictures in a row of your expressionless face at 2:30 am?
I don't miss having sex with him. We had our finale fuck last week. He's all yours now.
"Grocery shopping" is really just a euphemism for spending $20 on enough frozen food to last 2 weeks and spending the rest of your viable paycheck on alcohol.
On way back. With a shopping cart. Minimal casualties.
THIS IS A TERRIBLE REWARD FOR NOT GETTING PREGNANT.
I wasn't going to just ask my parents for a damn vibrator for christmas
Based on his face I'm positive he has a beautiful penis.
Listening to The Little Mermaid soundtrack should cure my drunkeness right?
Too much dab too little lung dying šµšµšµ
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