So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
Segways are the fanny packs of transportation. Useful in some situations, but you always look like a tool when using one.
You threw up. And every time you flushed you would wave and go "Bye Bye!" and then when the new water came you would greet it with "Helloooo!"
I can handle NPR. I speak hippie. I took it in college.
I can hear the condescending tone from the atm when it asks if $3 is all I would like to deposit
I dunno. It's not as good as 'devourer of cocks' but I suppose few things are.
Everyone looked at me like I just fucked a gopher and was wearing it like a hat
driving home I had the GPS in one hand and puking in the coffee cup
So no more sangria road trips?
You tired to make us "vodka tacos". Which was just you dipping pitas in vodka.
Any good?
Well. FUCK YA. But that's beside the point
I want to show up to tomorrow's study group looking like I got hit by a train. A train made of dicks.
Please don't throw the wedding bouquet at me
I just ate a handful of salt
I thought this was a good idea
I'm not in bed, I'm driving and puking at the same time.... first for everything
Okay, maybe filling water balloons with vodka was not our best idea.
You know you're out of shape when you're sore after masturbating.
Randomize
