I dint menn to makr ut w brtendr
Wat???
U lft me at bar, no cassh for cab, may have slept with bartender
Then my mouth guard fell out of the hole, so that's how the dog poop got in my mouth.
Dude if I didn't piss myself last night I dont think I would have woke up in time for work.
Good thing you left when you did - ended up getting banned from jimmy johns.
Well hey if hot cowboys are involved then all bets are off.
You kept screaming "Its taco night!" before every shot
They turned motor-boating me into some kind of sick game
You started drinking at 2:30, did you really think you would be able to remember?
Oh that's what I forgot last night.. To make out with her.
I think I reached some stage of aging, have a sore/injured shoulder from sex, next up carpal tunnel from sexting.
My poor liver. I drank enough on NYE to sustain an alcohol addiction for the entirety of 2015.
So I've decided that blue balls for lesbians is rainbow balls and the struggle is real
i had to call the bar to ask if they found my bowling ball. That good of a night
I had a good weekend too...although I cried about the dog in a drunken stupor last night...not one of my finest moments, but it's all water under the bridge.
I mean, who hasn’t been fingered in there back of an Uber?
Randomize
