You know that restaurant that is like over by home depot?
That shitty one? I heard the food sucks there
It's my parent's restaurant
I think you're the first person to ever call Louisville, KY a "romantic getaway".
is it bad that I only want to go to my boyfriends house bc I want to see his roomate walk around with his shirt off?
dibs on John Mayer's hood pass
I feel like college is just an experience in what names I can't name my future son.
The walk of shame out of a freshman dorm isn't so bad when you're 25, nobody questions you because they think youre gonna bust them for having weed
Well, I had a dudes gf walk in on us the next morning but nothing during...She shook my hand after I got dressed and said "nice to meet you with your clothes on" best moment of my life.
Just woke up, shitty hungover, and realized that every article of clothing I slept in was backwards, bra included. Fuck you, gin. Fuck you.
Came home from this girls horse at 6am to find a guy lighting off roman candles in front of my door. Best walk of fame I've ever had.
I slept awesome next to you. You're like an electric blanket that I can have morning sex with.
Literally sucked a dick for ten seconds before I said to myself, this tiny ass penis isn't worth it. My night last night
Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness
Sorry this is taking so long. I'm looking for my dignity.
I love waking up to reeses ice cream. But I DONT love waking up to it all over my cat. I blame you.
He gave me a back massage while we were fucking.
Did you get that?
WHILE WE WERE FUCKING.
Randomize
