Dogs love guiness but it fucks up their kidneys
apparently vodka and oj turns green when you throw it up
basic color theory
like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
You can't be mad at me for wanting to drink though, it is the reason we're engaged
he said he doesnt sext because the government can tap that kind of shit too. no boobie pics for him.
I just ate a whole pineapple for lunch. You should be begging to give me a bj tonight.
We always say that. And then its 4am and someone is screaming at strippers.
i have learned 4:30 is too early to start pregamming for the midnight harry potter
I just baptized the girl next to me. LONG LIVE THE CHURCH OF VODKA
We can't BOTH have terrible sex lives. Get fucked or throw him out.
You pissed off the back deck while listening to the national anthem from your phone screaming America Fuck Yea to my neighbors
Dude, you got arrested and then texted 911 to tell them you'd been kidnapped with a screenshot of your current location.
Yeah bc that's when u should take a Molly. At a house party with everyone from ur hometown
we didn't even throw knives this time! it was just the carrot peeler
It's confirmed. I have two dates on Saturday, and they are both named Mike.
Randomize
