Either he has two lazy eyes or he really likes my tits..
somethin' about having sex in my parents bed makes me feel like l'm finally an adult.
I actually had to roll up my long sleeves to masturbate. I hate the winter
Hopefully. Play it cool. Bust out a few jokes. Chew with your mouth closed and show your boobs.
My professor complimented me on the well drawn penis on my face then asked if I would like a seat closer to the garbage can.
Ever have a day where u just waNna wake up get a blow job eat food and chill I just want today to be that day
Quick question, how many times can you get chlamydia before your vagina just gives up and falls off?
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
My booty call just put me down for a reference for her job at the hospital. What am I supposed to say? She gives great bj's?
What I'm trying to say is, that time you chained me to my dresser and made me beg for it was incredibly romantic.
its so sad we are done celebrating 21st bdays everytime one of us turned 21 everyone else got laid
They said you bought the guy a shot and was talking about being Greek and then all of the sudden just puked all in their pitcher of beer and got kicked out of the bar.
I finally got the glitter off in time to get to the party and bang the bday boy in the bathroom while his girlfriend was lighting the bday cake candles.
Yep, that just happened. My mom just gave me a big bag of drugs for my birthday. She even put them in a fancy bag with tissue paper.
MIDGETS
????
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