Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
Sorry for calling you a whore in front of your mom. World cup brings the worst out of me.
After she came with my hands around her neck, she sat there for a minute and gave me the scuba diving sign for a-ok.
Her legal name is Candy. Her being a whore is implied.
Sometimes I stop and laugh and think "and these are my actual life choices".
Dave got tied up again. I'm done breaking into girls houses to cut him loose. At least before noon.
I found a pair a guys underwear in my purse that has a British flag on it and says and I quote "British beef" what.the.fuck.
YOU'RE HIGH AND AT THE GYM OF COURSE YOU FEEL WEIRD
My thighs feel like glass
blue gatorade loses no color upon regurgitation
My stuff that was at your place last night smells like doughnuts. I'm not even mad.
He flew in from NY last night. We had sex in the back of my car in the airport parking lot and then he fed me fresh Babka (from Breads Bakery) as I drove him home. I can't decide if I love him or Babka more.
I crawled to the bathroom this morning there were cornpops scattered on the floor? What was I doing last night?
I just found out why people like handcuffs.
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
Got baked and laid and ate baked lays when I laid down while baking the brownies I I’m Superman
You’re still high, aren’t you?
Oh yeah
Randomize
