I wish I loved anything like you love Tequila.
he mailed me a thank you note for the blowjob.
There are GROWN MEN with fake HP wands flinging curses at me in Walmart.
That's funny. Are they weird looking???
OF COURSE THEY ARE WEIRD LOOKING, THEY ARE STALKING ME IN WALMART. WITH. FAKE. WANDS.
the table of underagers at this wedding were seated 10ft from the open bar. currently 30 open containers on the table for 5 people. dinner hasn't even been served yet.
nothing like walking down the street with a garbage bag of puke trying to find a dumpster
I remember coming home with a cat... I havent seen it all day. Shit.
He probably smells like baby powder and sexual identity crisis.
I've done nothing but whore my gay ex bf out for the past 48 hours. It's getting weird.
too late I already started a fight with someone named luscious
getting busted for public urination is like, a step above j-walking. you'll be fine
I really shouldn't have to tell you to stop banging your lightsaber on everything while we are in college.
She put a shot in my mouth and then hit me with a pillow..
I have a corndog on my dresser and a trashcan of puke. Thanks for a great night!
There were containers of weed in the piñata. How much more Colorado does it get
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
Randomize
