If you made a robot out of pillows would he be nice? It's hard to imagine a mean pillow robot. And who came up with the idea of shaving their legs?
You cheat on me once, shame on me. You cheat on me with a white girl, it's fucking over
I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
A slipped finger up the butt isn't the end of the world
Just saw your girl from last night... Be embarrassed
I feel like letting the same guy who shot him dig the pellet out of his leg with a pocket knife was the bigger mistake
Theres a handprint of sauce on my frig, one streaked across my face, a trail of it to my bedroom and sauce all in my bed and i have no idea what the fuck i ate.
All I can remember is being told by a guy named Kyle to stay in the corner until the cops left. Then waking up on a porch outlined in beer cans 8 blocks from my house. Pregaming for college.
I actually didn't mind her sub-par blowjob skills.. It took me back to a time when skipping class was noticed, and my liver didn't look like a worn out shoe
We should start a Help That Bitch Out Fund and split the donations evenly between you two.
I'm taking myself to the hospital right now b/c there is no way this erection is subsiding in the next 4 hours.
The night is not complete until I am drnk and speaking to inanimate objects
And all i could do was bury the part of me that felt guilty for cradle robbing and put on my dick swallowing bib.
You know that pill i snorted last night? Yeh, its just hitting me now..... At work
Literally.... Guy kissing himself in mirror in this hotel elevator
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