I love reading their "i love you more" , "no i love you more" war on facebook today knowing that he hooked up with me last night. I bet i know who wins that one.
Is it sad that I woke up to more "Happy Holidays" texts on 4/20 than I did on Christmas?
The whiskey is fighting the tequila on who wants to be the one who end my night first.
Had a drag queen carry me to the car. So I'm told...
I want to apologize in advance for texting you a picture of my penis tonight.
Also I have uncooked pasta. I was hoping that could get cooked at your place. Don't ask about the circumstances that I came into ownership of uncooked pasta
So last night I learned something new. Whenever I drink beer out of a bottle a random guy buys me another one. It was like as soon as the glass hit my lips every guy in a 20ft radius got a hard on.
But I mean, have you ever just LOOKED at how majestic penises are? They are like ivory columns of pure wonder!
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
His balls are like really small, like dog sized balls. It was a weird discovery. Ever done a guy with dog sized balls?
Do you know how many guys' fantasies I've been told I'm a part of lately?!
Just 2. But still.
I don't know if I want to fuck him or punch him in the face.
Dude I turned down free booze. I think I'm growing as a person.
Just once, can I please come back to a room that doesn't smell like beer and cum?
He burst in the bathroom while I was peeing to hand me my beer I was looking for earlier tht night. And my pants were already down so I thought why not
Randomize
