I don't understand why she insists on me walking her to the door. She came over for literally 8 minutes, we had sex, and now I need her to leave. That fake chivalry will change nothing about the situation.
While sitting in bed naked eating ramen and watching the colbert report I realize why random sex happens.
I wonder if you could grow some weed in a chia pet
How come I'm the only one who's around when people show up? I had just taken a shit, I wasn't wearing pants, phantom of the opera was playing and the fridge said PENIS.
I was so high I couldnt even listen to music i was terrified of the potential knowledge i would gain.
and all i could think about was how mcdonalds would not be open anymore after we were done having sex
all i seem to do anymore is lay around stoned, naked and eating mangoes
I actually had fun getting arrested. That high.
My lower body still feels like its been through a garbage disposal and a trash compactor. In that order.
I DON'T WANT TO KNOW THE SCIENTIFIC REASONING BEHIND WHY I STARTED A HAREM ESPECIALLY NOT FROM A GUY IN THE HAREM!
But for real, I had the best sex of my life on that bunk bed
Because everytime she talks to you she goes in her room and plays Come Sail Away on repeat. Can't take this shit anymore Jake
Girl this is ridiculous I told my self that I would stop having sex in stairwells yet it keeps happening
Why is there no Netflix category for "I just wanna cry, but I don't have time for a whole romcom"?
I literally forgot every French word I knew and blurted out “mange moi” so he went down on me like I was some baguette fresh outta the oven!!!! I passed out.
Randomize
