You're going to have to start masturbating with your left hand. Or with someone's vagina
His facebook status is an owl city song. I'm so glad i didn't end up fucking him.
If its allowed to Tornado at 830am then Im allowed to have a beer and a cigarette at 830am
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
I think I may have appendicitis, but the house is like two blocks from the hospital so I'm just gonna go and drink anyway.
Hey got that picture this morning. 1. clean your room 2.what happened to your nail? and 3. your penis is amazing,.
did i paint my nails blue or do i need to make a trip to the ER?
well she hit her head and had a concussion. i had to make out with her to keep her awake.
Who wrote Most Moistest Dad on my chest and what the fuck does it mean?!?
I just put my hair into this ponytail & it looks hideous & really cool at the same time. I am dedicating it to the hangover I have
Just got assigned a beer bong as hw in fluids to demonstrate the inverse of pascals principle. I love this prof
shes wearing an ankle tracker so she should be easy to find
You're more than welcome to join us! There's red velvet cake and apparently my pants are open for business I didn't consent to this
Where the condoms are as broken as my dreams
dude where did you go last night?
when the tequila says to run, you start running.
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