member when we used to take shits together before volleyball games?
This girl I work with, who is 18 btw, invited me to her baby shower. Do they sell abortions in gift certificate form?
there is a dude in the bar with no arms getting fed beers by his friends
Next time we throw a party together I would appreciate it if you didn't try to get my friends to hook up with friends of yours you know have herpes
Wait, is this the kid that tried catching a bat in your backyard with a flashlight and a ball of tin foil?
I had to break up with him he didn't understand my priorities. I'm sorry but Saturday nights are for pot and Doctor Who. I'm not going to change who I am.
Hahah fuck. I keep looking to make sure that stupid line doesn't show up when my guards are down. Babies can sense fear.
she just stared at nothing and then looked at me and goes, "that's a weird place to put the wall"
I just want to know how she convinced 6 sober ROTC guys to have an ab contest on a street corner at 2 in the morning.
The guy had great intentions when throwing us free beer off the balcony... but of course I was the one to get hit in the face because that's the kind of luck I have
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
I know it's 10:30am but Finding Dory starts in an hour, and I have four points of molly. You down?
Went as "Party on, Wayne." And left as, "Partied out Wayne in a foot boot with new medical bills." Fuck Halloween...and vodka.
all im saying is 27 is too old to still be drinking 40s, you make more money than me, buy some decent shit
screw you you golddigging beer snob
Tbh I’m not a vibrator enthusiast
But I am godly
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