your address is 607B right?
yeah why?
i need to tell the guy bringing over the flaming bag of dog shit where to put it
the weed was in a baggy that had little penguins on it. i am so excited you have no idea
We had sex after spending two hours in the drunk tank. It was really deep and meaningful
my mom was in labor with me for 32 hours, it's only fair to start drinking now.
No, this is non-alcoholic oatmeal.
It's not like I ment to feed you the shots of vodka, my hand just kinda slipped.
You were in your third change of clothes, and I found you in my driveway passed out with my dog's food bowl. You win.
My vagina bone hurts from grinding on that dude so hard.
You definitely in your drunken state were really concerned you would forget to buy milk today
How did you get him out of the shower last time?
Order Taco Bell and leave a trail of burritos leading to his bed.
I went over to help her build a porch, but we decided that was too much work, so we just got high and watched Scooby Doo
Do you remember lying across two tables saying 'go away I'm trying to pull' to me, Sollie and Sean?
I got into the shower with my underwear on. I just sat down in the tub and tried to figure out when I lost all control of this hangover.
sexting while watching Peter Pan the Musical! something just doesn't seem right here
Why were u walkin around mc with a toilet bowl lid handcuffed to u and carrying a stuffed Teddy bear last night?
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