Yeah. My legs are trembling...hard to walk. Feels like a neon arrow is pointing at me saying "just had sex (with not his wife)"
This is the 4 year anniversary of the last time I shit my pants. Let's get drunk...
We're going to play a drinking game. It's called "Senior Year of College."
Quick question... Why were there condoms frozen into ice cubes?
Sometimes I wonder if my parents know that I mean horny when I say lonely.
That's the only definition of lonely that I know.
You missed lesbians having sex in the bathroom and the whole bar clapping for them. I had to do recon. It was amazing
I was galloping around pretending to give birth to pbrs. I could have used a mask.
Am I over stepping my bounds if I ask to fuck in your new bathroom?
It has heated floors
It takes a special kind of man to fart REALLY loudly right before entering a woman and still get some. This has been a state of bootytown address.
That's always how I imagine things at your apartment...
Good, I'm glad you don't have some weird, skewed, clothed version of reality over here.
DOMA is dead. I'm definitely going to be the last of our friends to get married now.
I woke up this morning and I had the absolutely horrific realisation that I am the human incarnation of scrappy doo
Uhh I just had to break up with a guy who I didn't even know I was dating...
Pants are for mortals
it's not rock bottom until you fall down an escalator on the way home from a hookup and have to have you dad come pick your drunkass up at 3am. Adulthood.
Randomize