Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
You probably shouldn't be hiding under someones bed listening to them get head
You lit the bowl with a rolled up paper towel that you ignited on the stove.
Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.
Omg calling you in 10 to update you on who I peed on last night
This is to remind you the pizza is in the dishwasher birthday boy eat it before it goes on
Out of beer. Salsa pong. Never again.
she vomitted in her champagne, said "fuck it, it's new years", and continued drinking.
This weekend i learned three things 1) skittles in vodka is good 2) it takes more than a roll of quarters to get a cab home 3) never tell a bartender to give you your change in actual change
yeah the cops just showed up and they got there ass handed to them at beer pong.
Finally finished unpacking shit from school n found a bra with no idea whose it is... I miss college so much it hurts sometimes
I just saw a chick driving drinking a juice box smoking all while on the phone that is talent
Remember how slutty I thought she was when we were freshmen?
Yeah! But that was a long time ago. Plus, you use your sluttiness for good!
I just made myself 3 peanut butter sammies because I was too hungry to watch porn
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