Apparently throwing up on his dick didnt convince him to stay away . . . whats the most indirect way of saying "im just going to continue avoiding you"?
Saved 180 Bucks tonight. Pulled my own tooth. More money to party with.
Is it standard protocol to defriend someone after they give you chlamydia?
A 20 minute car ride back to your car with the girl u had drunk anal with is the most uncomfortable thing ever.
You drunk yet?
Nope. Give me two hours then delete my texts before you read them.
Cant make any promises.
i woke facing the corner with my computer and i had googled "how to put out a fire" i am so scared to turn around
Please check on her. She announced that Thursday she'd open herself to any veteran so as to thank them for their service. "my services for your service" and left the bar with three numbers.
I wish someone would just come knock on my door and fuck me already so that me and my stuffed animals aren't the only ones who see my amazing spring break tan. I'm not getting skin cancer so I can just sit here abstinent.
This is what my life has come to. Drinking champagne alone yelling at the dog because no one wants to hang out with me
He doesn't have an existential crisis after we have really violent sex now which is nice
It's okay to masturbate while watching the Comey testimony right?
He took me out to dinner to tell me we had to stop fucking so randomly
Honestly wish he pleased me as much as queso does
I told him it was fine and then I keyed his car.
I met up with trey last night. He whispered in my ear "I love you" then raised his voice and said "but not in a I want to marry you kind of way, but if you died I would cry."
There’s so much sex at the hospital I’m beginning to think scrubs were invented to make duty booty easier
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