I always wonder when I meet a guy from online if he needs a moment to mentally register and accept the size of my ass. maybe ill wear a dress.
i wish starbucks made bloody marys
when the lights went off, all i could see was the glowing of the camera light in the closet... i got the fuck out of there so fast.
I did my dad and i had to keep going back there to pick up coffee
please read the first 4 words of that text and consider punctuation
Well, you're either very drunk or very high but I'll let it slide because I love any type of conversation concerning cheese.
I wouldn't accept the money so he folded the $20 bill into an origami puppy and left a note saying "Not blowjob money"
i woke up in the fire place with a lighter in my hand. if i would have died the night would have made up for it.
On my way home I stopped at target and bought beer and galoshes. I am a planner.
We lit firecrackers from NYE in the fireplace and he was so passed out that he slept through it.
well, duh, but it's like you don't even want to see me masturbate with a wine bottle.
We fucked in your water heater closet. Told you we'd try everywhere.
the mechanics of walkigng feel weird right now everyone lools like a demon
what does alcohol mean
I think you'll be amused to know that I achieved the impossible feat of tripping over my own dick
I had to bail out of the tour de Franzia because I have class Saturday morning. Grad school is ruining my life
tell him if he brings over dinner you might let him see your left boob...or right, whichever you prefer. But under no circumstances do you let him see both...unless he brings a good desert...like coffee ice cream or something
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