Ambien does the same to me. One time that I took it, I got this huge bowl of spaghetti out of the fridge and thought it was a castle and that the meatballs were little slaves. I ate all of them first and then the noodles were the soldiers and the sauce was the water in the moat. And when I finished, I fell up the stairs and threw it all up.
Her bacne/racne was so bad it was like having sex with bubble wrap.
Just got a call at work, I have to consent to a random drug and alcohol test by end of business day, if you arranged this it's the best/worst April fools prank ever.
After he told me that it's up to him to carry on his family name, I almost felt bad for not letting him cum inside me.
no more duck duck goose at the bar
I think that the winner of this years fantasy football league should get naming rights to you child
come help me. im curled up in the fetal position on the upper floor of the lib. please bring more caffeine or alcohol
its ok. its hell week the lib is a no judgment zone right now
If you like her enough, bring her with. If not, eloquently cunt punt that bitch through the field goals of life.
She's just done the monthly not prego dance around our kitchen
Buy Actually if the police need to find my body I'm on an air mattress in an apartment near a McDonald's that's all I see out dat Window
I know it's my dream I got hurt enough to leave work but not hurt enough to stop drinking
i found you laying on the floor staring at the ceiling and you kept muttering "why" in various inflections.
I woke up in a bush somewhere in Tucson with a full suit on. Great way to end my birthday.
also, my mom just called to make sure the dick tattoo on your arm was fake..
Hangover and judgement, the breakfast of champions.
Randomize
