I just did something awful... i just had to tell someone... i just used my brothers electric face cleaner as a vibrator
I just ordered a 3 square foot pizza. This is how to beat an eating disorder.
We're not too concerned with getting her out of jail. We're on a mission for donuts.
We drank a $4 handle of tequila until 5 am. Please think about that.
The first thing they saw when they walked in was all four of our std test's hangin on the fridge....i'd be worried if they didn't think we were sluts
I'm sweating so much right now i look like Whitney Houston
am i so blindsided by his great personality that i'm hooking up with an ugly guy?
i thought you knew
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
Just received a visit from the Ghost of Bad Decisions Past. Kind of weird 90% of the flashbacks happened in the same sixteen month span, the rest happened at Taco Bell.
Who takes their shirt off at the bar?! Classy broad
I do. In all fairness there was someone else's blood on it.
Dammit labor day drinking cancelled due to 3 inch long table saw cut to palm
Doing the walk of shame at 1 AM. Stumbled across a rave. This night is epic.
And then I discovered that while drunk last night I called the NAACP and left an angry voicemail demanding they fix the racism at my school
SPICY FOODS AND BLOWJOBS DON'T MIX.
YOU SAID YOU'D TRY ANYTHING ONCE YOU LIAR
i'm extremely hungover on the ski bus and the driver is playing abba. this. is. not. okay.
Randomize
