On this egg donor form, it asks "In the past 5 years, have you had sex for drugs or money?" It only gives a yes or no option and no place to explain myself. What do I do?
My fave moment of today was you sitting in a hot pink innertube puking into the ocean in front of a lot of children. i would have held your hair back but the ocean did it for you.
all i remember is that her bootyshorts said 'shameless' and that there was no turning back.
you act like breakfast cereal isnt an entirely appropriate chaser
You better of fucked him last night or do it now because he is buying all the roommates McDonald's.
i need to stop celebrating other people's birthdays like they are m own.. my body can't handle a birthday every week
Qdoba locked their bathrooms last night.. I suppose so people didn't pee all over them? I considered it counter productive considering I just peed on the outside of their building then. I had to pee
he wears New Balance sneakers on a regular basis, did you really expect the sex to be more than decent?
DOMA is dead. I'm definitely going to be the last of our friends to get married now.
Currently playing charity bingo with coworkers so if u were ever gonna send a dick pic now is the time
On the flip side Weston asked if he could move me to Wisconsin to be his "moto hoe" which is actually a thing apparently
I mean like, I missed 30 minutes of star wars to fuck you on Christmas so you must be worth something
I give out orgasms like candy and ride a motorcycle...how is that not appealing
Idk if my headache is from the alcohol, the pot brownies, or being dragged down 8 flights of stairs by my ankles because i passed out in the 12th floor girls bathroom by you. Probably a combo of all three.
i woke up this morning with a fake eyeball in my pocket
Randomize
